Some days I can't fall asleep
Posted: 13/07/2026
Inspired by a Faye Wong song that is, unfortunately, not available to be played on Instagram. If any of you want to listen to it, it's called 醒不來 (xing bu lai, or Wakeless), from her 1998 album 唱遊 (chang you, or Sing and Play). It's a really beautiful song. The whole album is beautiful too.
I suspect this will be a difficult week. I have to deliver a eulogy on Tuesday, and buy some white flowers for the funeral. And I have so many things to attend, so many people to think about. I'm not sure the people I have in my life can ever understand what I feel about them, and I'm not sure I can ever understand about the way I feel about people. I just wish that I could have the presence that others seem to have for each other. The more I go on, the more convinced I may have to live without this concept that everyone else seems to have for granted. Not that I ever could make myself seize the opportunity when it was given to me on a platter... but life is always more complicated than that. I continue to wonder whether I expect too much of this world, or whether my actions make me deserve to feel so lonely in this sea of people that say they value me.
The photo was taken on Friday. The poem was written on Saturday, but I edited it just before posting and added some new stanzas.
Spare a thought to those
Who love in absence so we
Can love in presence