Driving through the dark
Posted: 30/05/2026
When I returned to high school in 2022 after having missed a term, I was overwhelmed by a feeling of having been left behind. The world, it seemed, had advanced faster than I had in the 3 years I had been at high school, and that feeling only caught up to me then. I would spend the next three years beating myself up over how much I felt I had fallen behind in the world.
I've been sick for the past four weeks, which makes things difficult. It's the nature of sickness that the world moves on without you to participate in it. And I suppose that's okay. No matter whether you feel as if you're an inadequate version of yourself or whether you long for someone's presence in your life that they're not willing to give, the fact of the matter is that there is very little you can do but wait. And not for the next youth, or presence (of whoever); you'd be waiting a long time in that case; but for yourself to find the energy and become the person you wanted to be in that time. Someone I admire a lot told me once that youth is the promise of possibility. Well as of the moment I am still a bit sick, but I feel more youthful than before.
It feels very liberating to think about how I was a year ago and how I am today, and realise that I am more than someone else's impression of myself.
Photo taken in Woolston by the fire station!
How absurd is it
To judge your life by someone
Else's small smiles?