I don't miss you when I'm cold
Posted: 05/03/2026
To be me is to show a lot of different faces to everyone, appreciating the ones who I keep out of my life the most by being distant in exchange for trying to hold it all together when I'm keeping my head above water whenever I have to be my best self. I still think that this is not at all a good way to go about treating people, certainly it makes it seem I don't appreciate you all or think of you as friends, but I also just don't have it in me when I have to expend my energy meeting other peoples' expectations. How did I try to be so genuine that I start feeling fake? I don't know, I'm really confused also...
The song is ironic in a way, I haven't listened to it in a while, but it used to define my life some time ago. Moving on continues to be the majority of what I go through in a day & in addition to feeling terrible for doing things upon others that those people have since forgiven me for (but I still can't forgive myself for doing).
Today during the photoshoot the photographer told me I should keep doing what I was doing and that she loved my energy and it just made me think ðŸ«
Taken yesterday at Jack Erskine???