A note for Sarika
Posted: 18/08/2025
Dear Sarika,
We find ourselves in places we don't want to be.
We do things telling ourselves our best intentions but we end up hurting more than we love.
We don't realise that even in silence, others care for you.
You had to live every day as if it was your last. You had no choice. But you never gave up the hope that each day wouldn't be. I remember you told me that life was too short, to worry about things like vanity. Every day for you was to beat the odds, to hope for the next step that would allow you to keep living.
Before you went to hospital for the last time you told me you wanted to live long enough to attend my wedding and meet my children. You wanted to publish Bevan's book and see it be read and enjoyed and played by others. But you were taken away before all of that and I am still coming to terms with that fact, that you will never be able to experience the happiness we could give each other by fulfilling those dreams. Your presence in my life was only for less than a year, but your spirit will keep living with me for my whole lifetime, and I will, one way or another, help you achieve those dreams you shared with me.
Your defiance of what life gave you because of its obscene unfairness is something I thought about every day after you entered hospital that Wednesday a month ago. And I will continue to remember, appreciate, and reciprocate your love and energy to everyone you met and had an impact on, and to more beyond that, because that energy was something that you lived for. I especially appreciate your husband Bevan and your mother for being with you all this time, and our friend Anna for giving us the opportunity to love you. I will remember you, my Indian mother.
Benedykt